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Plone Quotes

Some quotes from irc, where I sometimes make witty^Wlame comments about Plone:

< teix>      kosh: well there's a plone's bugday today :)      
< TheJester> just a day?
< betabug>   teix: isn't there a plone bug day every day?
< TheJester> d8)
* d2m records betabugs QOTD

< betabug> upgrading plone is like bungee jumping with a rope you lended
           from some stoned hippies in a VW transporter who just came
           back from sailing to India

< betabug> plone is not compatible with zope 3
< betabug> please see plone installation documentation and if you have 
           problems ask on #plone or see a doctor
< betabug> (I'd suggest a doctor, cuz with plone you're bound to get a 
           nervous disorder anyway)

< AcTiVe_> hopefully it'll run smoothly
< betabug> plone? that will run as smooth as a loaded garbage truck on 
           toy train tracks uphill in the alps

< betabug> there is an easy way to make plone go fast
< indyone> PLEASE!!!!
< betabug> ...but it's hard to find a high enough cliff
< betabug> :-p
< indyone> :-p

< betabug> dazgard: well, I don't like plone (everybody knows that by now)
< teix>    betabug: what? you don't like plone? really? i'm surprised!!! ;)

Interesting enough, as of May 2007, this page doesn't show up in web searches for terms like "Plone sucks" or "I hate Plone". A fact that might change with time...

< Disputas> so i decided to try anewer plone, and zope
< betabug>  Disputas: you can't just upgrade the zope under plone's ass
< betabug>  plone is as picky for choosing its zope as a 63 year old 
            virgin with the choice of dildoes

I get pwned too sometimes:

< TheUKDave> Kudos on not being unhelpful as in #plone
< betabug>   haha, I usually sent everybody who mentions plone to #plone anyway
< betabug>   you've been the exception, as rewriterules are my sweet spot
             and it looked like for once the problem wasn't on plone's side
< TheUKDave> I avoided mentioning plone as I thought you would point me there :)
< betabug>   haha
< jensens>   *lol*

But back to our regular Plohn [1] bashing:

< kosh>    so betabug how would you feel about being given the job to clean 
           up plone? :)
< betabug> easy
< betabug> rm -rf is nice and fast

While we bash plohn, sometimes we can praise Zope itself:

< kosh>    if you encode user specific state when it is not necessary you 
           just increase server load for no gain
< kosh>    betabug: you and I and some others can say of course to that, 
           but amazingly a LOT of people make that mistake
< betabug> it's incredible how much abuse zope can take and still 
           somehow work :-)
< betabug> viz plone
< kosh>    betabug: heh good point

This one is nice too, with a bit of a freudian slip or so:

< drjnut>  betabug, sorry to bother you with this ;-) I was just wondering 
           if I could be wrong about thinking that this piece of code 
           smells like shit
< betabug> if it's plone quote, then you are most certainly right
< betabug> s/quote/code/

Too many dead bodies after a while:

< teKnofreak> so the problem is in Products/StructuredDocuments code ?    
< betabug>    no idea, didn't look close enough
< betabug>    when I see plohn in a traceback my eyes usually just wander 
              off, it's like seeing too many pixx of dead bodies on TV...

Occasionally there is serious, good advice to be found too:

< mcdonc>  FFighter: what I usually recommend to people who ask "should I
           use Plone as opposed to X" is.. if you want *exactly* what
           Plone gives you out of the box, it's 100% the right solution...
           if you want something that's 25% different, you might want to 
           consider coding something up using something else. 
< runyaga> mcdonc, great rule of thumb
< runyaga> plone is a product

... and no, I don't know either what "plone is a product" means.

< ocq> if i say something stupid can i get on the quotes page?

< ocq>     many thanks, i think it does when i add a custom type with a 
           space in the title in plone
< eb_>     oh oh
< eb_>     he said the p-word
< ocq>     pretty naughty in my opinion
< eb_>     :-y
< betabug> ocq: if it's naughty, go spank the plohn devs in #plone!
< ocq>     wha wha? i wasn't telling anybody off, just speaking outloud
< betabug> go and give them a spanking anyway, I'm sure they deserved 
           it in some way
< ocq>     betabug: will try, but my arm may tire, there's a lot of them
< betabug> sometimes you have to do all you can!
< ocq>     betabug: then i shall use a stick and take luzocade tablets to 
           do as many as possible before exhaustion sets in
< betabug> that's the spirit!

... I was getting there!

TheJester just informed me that there's a new book about Plone from O'Reilly released!

A variation on an old quote:

< TheJester> We are plone of zope, you will be assimilated, 
             resistance is futile
< TheJester> We can only assimilate you @ about 3 pages per 
             second so slow down

I'm not the only one who has nice typos:

< betabug> always plohn users trying to evade why they ask 
           stuff on the wrong channel
< betabug> what you want to do is to do a task on creating a plohn user...
< betabug> how isn't that a plone question?
< kosh>    uhoh
 * kosh hands out shotguns with antiplone rounds
< jensens> PAS = zope
< jensens> anyway
< jensens> MrWu: and anyway 2, plone has convinience methods on 
           top of PAS in portal_membershit
< jensens> ops.
< betabug> haha

Hmmm:

< TresEquis> Plone UI is really an intranet abused to play a CMS on TV

It's Christmas time: Betabug got some nice Xmas Carrols from TheJester.

In case you don't like Plone or Plohn, maybe you like plano better?

< betabug> well, where you run it in the end depends on 
           what application you want to run on top of zope
< betabug> how much power you need etc.
< pumkinhed> yup that workd
< pumkinhed> i am going to be running plano
< pumkinhed> i am looking for document management and i
             think sharepoint is a piece of crap
< betabug> never heard of plano, sorry
< pumkinhed> thats ok
< betabug> neither has google apparently
< pumkinhed> lol
< pumkinhed> sorry Plone
< betabug> hahahahahahahaha
< pumkinhed> grabbing more wtf coffee
< betabug> I think google will soon hear of your plano
< betabug> anyway, you better get the biggest server with 
           the fastest disks you can find
< betabug> and don't forget to hook up to #plone too
[1]IIRC The term "plohn" (as in "OH my god, that hurts!") was coined by Chris Withers. His presentation "Plone - The Hell In Which I Live My Life From Day To Day" can be downloaded from the simplistix presentation page.